Sherlock Holmes And The Dreaded Pickup Lines
by Carry On Chaos Cas
Summary: What happens when Sherlock uses pickup lines? Insanity, that's what. And a flustered John Watson. Johnlock. Rating might go up for language.
1. Chapter 1

John was working on his blog when Sherlock walked in. "Hey Sherlock," he said. "How does this sound, 'The Case of The Black Cat?'"

"Boring." Sherlock said, plopping himself down on the recliner.

John sighed and scrapped it. "Well then, what do you suggest?"

"I don't know." Silence enveloped them for a moment before Sherlock broke it. "Do you know a doctor?"

"What?" John looked utterly surprised at the sudden question. "Sherlock, I am a doctor. Have you deleted that information? Why do you ask? What's wrong?"

"Hmm." Sherlock hummed softly and turned his head to look at John. "Because, John. I seem to have a bad case of 'Falling For You.'"

John blushed darkly and turned back to his laptop. "H-how does 'Bandit in Black' sound to you?"

"Better than the first one," Sherlock sighed. He'd just have to try harder then.

* * *

**_Hey kittens! So this idea came to me this morning when I woke up, inspired by the fact that I sent a bunch of pickup lines to my own John Watson last night. Like, I'm her Sherlock and she's my John, in fact, I'm wearing my coat and hat at the moment. Anyway, I already have a few pickup lines set out that I'm going to use but if you have a certain one you want to see go ahead and request it! ~Cat. _**


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock walked out of the kitchen and sat down across from John. He handed him a coffee mug and cradled the warmth from his own before taking a slow sip. Glancing back towards the kitchen his lips parted in a mischievous smile.

"John?"

"Yes Sherlock?" John didn't bother looking up from his laptop screen. He was, in fact, still working on his blog.

"I couldn't keep my eyes off of you," Sherlock said coolly, drawing John's curious glance from his laptop. "So I had to put them in the microwave."

John turned an interesting mixture of paleness and pinkness. He wasn't sure whether to be flattered or disturbed or if he should just walk away then and there. "That's... That's nice Sherlock," he said slowly before biting his lip and pretending like nothing happened.

Sherlock scowled softly. Wooing John seemed to take a lot more than that.

* * *

**_XD oh gods, I have no clue how many times I have used this one. Same policy thing I guess, any comments or stuff is welcome, if you'd like to see a pickup line (please keep them clean) send them in. I've already got the last chapter planned out but I hope to have as many pickup lines as I can find before that happens, I don't want this to end! It's too fun. Oh! Another note, I plan on posting a new chapter daily (but we all know how scheduled posts go :P) so keep an eye out for new chapters. ~Cat. _**


	3. Chapter 3

John was looking for a book to read when Sherlock stumbled into the flat. He looked up at John and smiled softly. "You're my drug of choice."

John raised an eyebrow. "Where'd that come from?"

Sherlock shrugged and plopped down on the couch. "I burned my left index finger with acid, thought of you."

"Oh... That's nice..." John returned to searching for his book.

* * *

_**This one is inspired by a picture on my phone, it's half screened and it has Sherlock on the left and John on the right and there's an image of John's phone screen in the middle. I'm having fun with this! Remember, reviews make Cat update quicker. And there's a prize for ever twenty fifth reviewer who has an account. Go ahead and send in pickup lines, I might just start using fandom pickup lines... ~Cat. **_


	4. Chapter 4

John scanned through the many isles of books as he searched for a specific one. Sherlock had decided to tag along despite John adamantly saying he didn't have to. Eventually Sherlock had persuaded him by saying that two sets of eyes was better than one.

John sighed heavily as he walked out of the isle and up to Sherlock. "I can't find it. Any luck?"

"Right here," Sherlock waved a book as he flipped through the pages of another.

"What've you got there?" John asked cautiously. Sherlock had been acting strange lately and it wouldn't be much of a shock if this played into that.

"Nothing," Sherlock closed the book with a quiet snap and headed to the check out. "You know John, I'm glad I brought my library card."

"And why is that Sherlock?"

Sherlock placed the books on the counter with his card and turned to John with a smile. "Because I'm checking you out."

John flushed, he really should've seen that one coming. "I think I forgot something," he spun around. "Ah yes, I left my sanity back in the philosophical section, do you mind waiting here while I go retrieve it? I keep hearing you using pickup lines..."

Sherlock watched with a scowl as John walked off. "Poor bloke, me thinks yer tryin' to hard." Said the man at the counter as he pushed the books back to Sherlock. "Try somethin' lesser instead, make 'im dinner of sorts." His blue eyes flicked to where John disappeared. "Yer books'll be due in two weeks, have a nice holiday."

When John returned to Sherlock he wasn't too shocked that the taller had already hailed a cab. "After you," Sherlock said, motioning for John to get in first." Maybe he'd do what that librarian had said.

* * *

**_XD the librarian will probably be seen more. He's one of my original characters and his name is Kaydon. He has a weird way of speaking so sorry if he's a bit confusing. ~Cat. _**


	5. Chapter 5

John sat at the table in slight apprehension. He hadn't become victim of one of Sherlock's pickup lines today. He supposed he should be relieved and he wasn't sure why he just... Wasn't.

"Alright John," Sherlock hummed as he put a plate in front of John. "Misses Hudson and I worked hard to make this so I expect that it shouldn't be too terrible."

John looked at it momentarily. Potatoes, green beans, honeyed ham, and what seemed to be a stuffing of sorts. It seemed good enough, innocent and harmless, but one could never be too sure with Sherlock Holmes.

"It's not poisoned is it?"

Sherlock chuckled. "Now John, why would I poison you?"

"For fun? As an experiment? I don't know Sherlock, why do you do anything?" John felt silly as he stabbed at the ham. Taking a tentative bite he was completely aware of Sherlock's deducing gaze on him.

"You like it!" Came Sherlock's gleeful cheer.

John shrugged lamely as he continued eating. He relaxed slightly when Sherlock didn't insist upon filling the silence with his own Sherlock-y ruckus.

It wasn't until he was halfway finished with his plate that Sherlock spoke once more. "If a fat man in a red suit stuffs you in his bag don't be alarmed," Sherlock's piercing gaze made John flush. "I asked for you for Christmas."

John choked on a potato and pushed away from the table. "Please excuse me."

Sherlock raised an amused eyebrow and continued eating. He'd taken the librarians advice. So much for not being victim of a pickup line.

* * *

**_Haha, I couldn't think of one... So that's all I had, also being inspired by a picture. ~Cat._**


	6. Chapter 6

They were in the lab when it happened again. Sherlock was looking into a microscope when he casually spoke. "You're hotter than The Dynamics of Combustion."

John raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Sherlock looked up. "I meant what I said John."

John blushed darkly and Molly walked in, giving each a curious glance before going on with her preppy business.

* * *

**_So my friend used this one on me after I sent a hell of a lot of pickup lines to her just to see what she'd do so we all have her to thank for this chapter because I didn't know what to use XD ~Cat. _**


	7. Chapter 7

John was curled up contentedly in his blankets on a recliner. He was reading The Hobbit and was happy to relax in the silence of the flat. That is, until Sherlock walked in.

The taller man fell gracelessly onto the couch and looked over at John. He glanced steadily at the cover of the book and his lips curled into a grin. "Your beauty is golden."

"Is that so," John hummed lightly as he turned the page.

"If your beauty is golden then I must be Smaug."

"Why's that, Sherlock?" It only took John another second to realise what Sherlock had said and a blush quickly found his cheeks.

"Because I want it all to myself," Sherlock said.

If possible John bushed darker and tried to hide his face with the book. '_Why me_,' he thought, trying to become invisible.

* * *

_**Haha, I came up with this one. Like, I was looking up pictures of Human!Smaug because I was reading a fanfic where he's human and it came to me and I was just like "that seems like something that Sherlock would say" and then I realised "Benny is Smaug. Let's throw this at the fans!" So here you are! ~Cat. **_


	8. Chapter 8

John was reading the Sunday paper contentedly when Sherlock sat down across from him. He examined the newspaper and grinned mischievously. "If you were on paper they'd call you fine print."

John nearly tore his paper in half out of embarrassment. He looked at Sherlock and back to the paper. "I'm going to ignore you now."

* * *

_**You thought I forgot you guys didn't you? Nah, I've just been a bit busy. Here you are though! ~Cat. **_


	9. Chapter 9

John examined his sweater happily as he straightened the collar. It was baby blue with white snowflake patters adorning the sleeves. Across the torso there was a wintery scene of a moose in a patch of pine trees.

He hardly noticed Sherlock walk up behind him until there was a soft hum behind his ear. "What's your sweater made out of John?"

"Um... Cotton yarn I believe. Why?" He turned to look at Sherlock curiously. Shouldn't he have been able to deduce that without asking? Unless, ah hell. He walked into that one.

"I was just curious, because it looks like boyfriend material." Sherlock's bright grin was nearly blinding as John brought his palm to his face.

* * *

_**Sorry it's so late! I had a dream last night that shook me up real bad because it's so plausible so I spent a good part of my day reading gay Harry Potter fanfiction just to cheer myself up and ignoring people. I think I might have worried some of my friends because I haven't answered them but one of them kind of deserves it! She doesn't reply to me and it scares me half to death and I'm already afraid enough that she'll up and leave me... Anyway, today's pickup line was suggested by a fanfictioner, thanks! Your reviews are like oxygen to my fire, they keep me fuelled! Lolz, no pressure though. ~Cat. **_


	10. Chapter 10

Sherlock casually looked over at John and smiled. "Are you the square root of two?"

"Sherlock, what-"

"Because my love for you is irrational." Sherlock wore a serious expression.

John chuckled softly, the pink tint of his blush becoming more prominent. "Sherlock... Why are you doing this?"

"As I said before, I want you all to myself."

John nodded mutely to himself before looking out the window of the taxi cab. Sherlock, being the stubborn arse that he is, would keep on until he got what he wanted. John at least knew that much. He groaned to himself and let his forehead his the window. This would be a long ride, both metaphorically speaking and literally.

* * *

_**Reference to chapter seven. Oh my! I wake up after hardly six hours of sleep and there's like four more reviews! You think we can make it to twenty six before the next chapter? This chapter's pickup line was suggested by IWishICouldThinkOfAUsername. Thanks to all of you who've sent in pickup lines! Guys! I've reached a new achievement! I've updated this fic ten days in a row! Can I haz a cookie? ~Cat. **_


	11. Chapter 11

Sherlock had no real account for personal boundaries. This became painfully obvious to John when Sherlock burst into his room this morning.

Now John wasn't a prude but he was very thankful that he had his trousers on when Sherlock did burst into his room. He paused, shirt in hand, and stared equally at the consulting detective.

He sighed and out his shirt on, grabbing his shoes and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Can I help you, Sherlock? Is there a reason you're in my bedroom?"

Sherlock blinked. "I was going to ask if you're an astronaut because your arse is out of this world but instead I'd like to tie your shoes."

John was blushing slightly because the casual astronaut comment when he responded. "Why do you want to tie my shoes?"

"I don't want you to fall for anyone else."

John blinked. He really should have expected that but it didn't entirely shock him. "Sherlock, if you tie my shoes I wouldn't be falling for you either."

Sherlock made a sour face. He stalked out of John's room to call his brother.

* * *

_**Slowdown! Okay, I realise that he wouldn't call his brother but hear me out! There's a reason behind my madness, I plan on having Mycroft in the next chapter because my friend used a pickup line that I'd like to execute and now that John's decided to be an arse (a fine arse in Sherlock's opinion) and contradict him I can actually put my methodical madness to use. The pickup line in this chapter was suggested by a fanfictioner. Side Note; this fic has quickly become my most popular, booting HEANS (a Destiel fanfic in the Supernatural fandom) into second place. You guys are awesome! ~Cat. **_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Happy New Years!**_

* * *

John looked at the ticket stubs in his hand as he walked into the theatre. This was definitely new for Sherlock, from what John could recall the taller bloke had never stepped foot in a theatre. At least he wasn't taking him to see some romance movie.

He stood at the concession stand not sure what he wanted. Eventually he settled on a tub of popcorn when he felt Sherlock walk up behind him. "Sherlock would you like anything?"

"Nothing for me."

John nodded and turned around to pay when he felt a hand on his arse. "Sherlock," he said steadily. "What are you doing?"

"Is this seat taken?"

John's eyebrow twitched. "Kindly get your hand off of my arse or I'll punch you in the face."

Sherlock sighed and turned around. "Mycroft! It didn't work."

The older Holmes was staring in shock at what had just been displayed to him. "It was a joke, Sherlock. Surely you can differentiate."

Sherlock nodded and pursed his lips. "It was still worth a try."

John huffed as he walked towards the theatre room that was playing the movie, mumbling something along the lines of "stubborn bastard."

* * *

_***laughs* so I'm thinking of throwing a little Mystrade your way. I'd have to read some fanfiction for the pairing first but it's still a possibility. ~Cat.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Okay, I'm not sure if anyone suggested any of these but I've been reading/writing a bunch of Harry Potter fics lately (if you ship Drarry you should totally read some of my works) and I really want to use some Potter pickup lines I'm sorry for taking 5ever to update! I lost my muse and I caught it again. Anyhow, enjoy!_**

* * *

They were in a candy store to interview the shop owner when Sherlock did it again. The shop owner had turned around to get a box of chocolates that Sherlock had asked for.

He leaned over to John. "You're like a box of Bertie Bott's Ever Flavour Beans because you're everything I could ask for."

John raised an eyebrow, cheeks turning a light pink as he pointed to a bag of caramel popcorn. They paid for their sweets and left.

Sherlock followed behind John slightly. He looked him up and downs. "Did you sit in a bowl of sugar? Because you have a sweet-"

"Sherlock, please." If he'd been looking at the other's face he would have seen his brow twitch in irritation.

"Do you play on a Quidditch team? Because you look like a keeper."

"Sherlock."

"Is that your phone in your back pocket? Because your arse is calling me."

"Sherlock," John cleared his throat, aware that his face was red and that people were starting to stare.

"Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you."

"Sherlock, please."

"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back."

John started walking faster.

"If you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber!" Sherlock was jogging to keep up.

"Sherlock, shut up or I swear to god I'll-"

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got 'fine' written all over you."

John spun around and grabbed Sherlock's scarf. "Shut up. Now."

"I love it when you're rough with me," Sherlock smirked. "Do you want to go be rough in-"

* * *

Later Sherlock held and ice pack to his new black eye, grinning stupidly as John grumbled angrily, typing away on his blog.

* * *

**_I couldn't resist XD thank you all for being patient with me. I hope the multiple pickup lines makes up for my being MIA for so long. ~Cat. _**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Wooooow I am really bad at updating regularly. Haha... Sorry mates.**_

* * *

They were sitting in the park on a bench when Sherlock did it again. He looked over at John and said, "Did you used to work near a river, because damn."

John raised an eyebrow. "Sherlock, how long are you going to keep this up?"

"When an apple grows from a mango tree on the thirtieth of February I will stop using pickup lines on you." Sherlock replied.

John sighed and shook his head. "You're hopeless."

"Hey, don't frown John. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile."

That pulled a smile to John's lips even though he tried to hide it.

* * *

_**I've got nothing else at the moment. I typed this up during biology because I was finished with my work and was told I could do whatever. I've got a poll up on my profile so please check it out and vote! Thanks kittens! ~Cat.**_


	15. Chapter 15

**_I know I know. My chapters are all exceedingly short and I apologise for that. I'm trying to have as many pickup lines as I can before the last one and I don't want to use too many in one chapter._**

* * *

Sherlock and John had gone to a bar for some drinks after a case. John would later blame Sherlock's attempts on the alcohol.

"John, when I'm around you I can't think straight."

John flushed. "You're drunk Sherlock, I think we should get you home."

"I'm not drunk, I'm intoxicated on you." Sherlock beamed at John. "I realised you don't drive. Your license must've been suspended because you drive all these guys crazy."

John flushed. "Sherlock, please..."

"Ooh," Sherlock purred. "Will a little more alcohol catalyse this reaction?"

The bartender heard this and blushed. She covered her face with the rag she'd been holding and squealed. When she finished she walked over and passed them both another drink. "It's on me. You guys must be made of copper and tellurium because you are so CuTe together." She winked and walked away.

Sherlock looked at John and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. John flushed and chugged his drink quickly.

* * *

**_Omf XD I had to! Yes, I am the bartender. XD I can't even, stahp being so cute Johnlock! ~Cat. _**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Holy hell! Three days in a row!?_**

**_Well, yeah. I found a site that has a ton of pickup lines that are easy to access and thought "ah what the hell? Why not."_**

**_I'm also typing this around eleven PM so I'm exhausted but I wanted to type it up so I could post it first thing when I wake up. It probably doesn't help me much that I turned my Spotify on and I put on a classical music playlist. SHIT IM TIRED._**

**_EDIT: Aaaaaaaaand you guys get it early because I plan on sleeping until noon._**

* * *

Sherlock was standing in the front room staring out the window with his violin on his shoulder. He had long since stopped playing and was simply staring, deep in thought.

John should've known something was up when Sherlock put his violin down and sat in front of him.

"May I help you?" John asked, not bothering to look up from his book.

"Are you a choir director?" John looked up curiously. Sherlock smirked and continued with his statement. "Because you sure make my heart sing."

John rolled his eyes. "Anything else? If really like to get to the ending of my book before I have to return it tomorrow."

"I C major potential in U.S. Getting together."

"Of course you do Sherlock."

"Damn John, you're looking sharp."

John rolled his eyes.

"You must be a fourth or fifth because you're just perfect." Sherlock shifted slightly. "I bet we'd get into some serious treble."

"Sherlock, can I ask you something?" John said, having shut his book.

"You just did but alright."

"If I go on a date with you–a single date–will you stop this nonsense?"

Sherlock smirked. "Composers always score."

* * *

**_All da music pickup lines! XD yay! I accidentally typed 'Shercock' and my phone corrected it, thank gods it did XD because that would have been embarrassing. So the next chapter will be their date and then Sherlock goes back to doing the pickup lines. I'm working up to where he wins John over and becomes the victim of a pickup line rather than the dealer x3 ~Cat. _**


	17. Chapter 17

_**I'm sorry! I've been brainstorming where they should go for their date but I have no clue! Please help!**_

_**By the way, I have another poll on my profile that I'd like people to vote on. It's asking if people want a multi fandom shipping war.**_

* * *

John had been avoiding Sherlock for a few days, trying to figure out how to get out of going on their date. Nothing was working though.

He sat on the end of his bed, his head in his hands, when Sherlock popped in. "I've got out date planned out," said the detective. "Wear something nice."

As soon as he disappeared again John groaned. So much for avoiding it. He stood up and walked to his closet. Now what to wear...

* * *

**_Ah! So short! I'm sorry! I know I said that this chapter would be their date but I've encountered writers block and I want help on where they should go. I'm thinking a coffee shop or something but I'd like to know what you think. The poll on my profile will be up for a while so feel free to check back often and see if the question changes. ~Cat. _**


	18. Chapter 18

**_Oh mah gawd you guys! This story is huge! It's so popular that even my mom has read it! She even suggested some things for the date which is awesome!_**

**_I'm so sorry for abandoning you guys for–what, two months was it? I have reasons though! I was busy with life and writer's block is evil. I'm back though! I've also updated the poll on my profile and I'd like if you could vote._**

**_A few quick updates and you're free to go. _**

**_1.) WOOHOO! Same sex marriage is officially legalised in all 50 of the United States!_**

**_2.) I was in the hospital about a week or so ago for a heart rate of about 203. I have an appointment with my cardiologist on the 15th and I haven't been allowed to have caffeine, chocolate, or sodas since I was in the hospital. _**

**_3.) Jawn yur hella gay._**

**_4.) My mum is thinking of homeschooling me and we're going to a little conference thing this weekend._**

**_5.) I can haz huggles?_**

* * *

John decided on his nicest cardigan and nice pants that he could easily run in. Knowing Sherlock the date–no, night out, John decided–would be interrupted by some kind of case. He was sure of it. With a sigh John put on some shoes that were comfortable but not too fancy.

Sherlock was knocking on his bedroom door moments later. He came in without an invitation and smiled at John. "You look nice, John."

Sherlock didn't look any different than he normally did. He was wearing plain black trousers, a dark shirt, and his usual black trench coat. He even had a dark purple scarf wrapped around his neck to complete the image.

John sighed, dreading the rest of the day. "Shall we get on with it?"

* * *

Sherlock surprised John by taking him to one of the least fancy places he could think of. He was rather expecting tea and a fancy dinner but what he got was far from.

He stared up at the large Ferris wheel, the screams of roller coaster goers sounding in the background.

He looked at Sherlock. "A carnival, Sherlock?"

"Well, why not?" Sherlock grinned and held out a hand. "Care to join me?"

John reluctantly took his hand.

* * *

John was enjoying his day more than he cared to admit. They'd gone on the roller coaster twice, the spinning teacups once, and the Ferris wheel three times.

John became so excitedly distracted with everything that he missed the moment he grabbed Sherlock's hand and ran off to one of the carnival games. Sherlock's deduction skills saved them from wasting money on the rigged games and helped them win the game with rubber duckies and a kiddie pool.

Sherlock pointed to one of the large plush bears that hung from a hook on the tent. He presented the bear to John who's cheeks flushed as he took it gratefully.

* * *

They were walking amongst the throngs of people eating vanilla ice cream cones when John paused in front of the mirror house. "Sherlock," he said, suddenly becoming suspicious. "Did you bring me heard as part of a case or-"

He was stopped mid-sentence by Sherlock falling forward, a tranquilliser dart in his thigh. He caught Sherlock, dropping his new bear and ice cream cone in the dust. Then someone was holding something over his nose and dragging him behind the porta-potties.

He struggled against his attacker but his limbs were growing weak and before too long his vision went black.

* * *

John woke up in a dim room with a pounding headache. He knew his hands and feet were bound before he even tried to move. There was a gag in his mouth which rubbed uncomfortably on his cheeks.

He raised his head and had to squint against a sudden bright light.

"So the little fag's awake," said a calm collected voice with an undertone of malice. He sounded strange, his voice was thick with an accent that John couldn't quite place.

Someone sniggered and then there was a snap. The sniggering stopped. "Sorry boss."

"Get me the switch." The first voice said and John recognised the accent as American. What were Americans doing in London?

The light moved out of his face and through the sudden white circle in his vision he saw a tall lamp with an arm that could be positioned. Like the lamp that bounced on the rubber ball in the beginning of Pixar films.

A man with sandy blonde hair and orange skin knelt down in front of him. He sneered at John. "Someone's gotta take you little fags out, you're ruinin' the world with your rainbowy bullshit and sparkly speedos." He leaned over and spat on John's right shoe.

He held something up and smiled malevolently. "You're going to regret getting out of bed today." A silver blade snapped out with a soft kashunk-click.

The blade was pressed to his throat and it was cold, almost like freezing fire pressed against his skin. The American dragged it across his skin making John wince slightly.

The American chuckled and wiped the blade on a rag, smiling maniacally as he looked the blade over.

He brought the blade against John several more times before tearing his shirt and slowly carving his symbol into John's rib cage. He let out a muffled scream of pain before everything went black again.

* * *

When John woke up a second time it was to the steady beating of a heart monitor. He groaned lightly and moved his arm slightly, wincing when he tugged on the IV.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty," Sherlock said quietly from a chair near the bed.

"How long was I out?"

"Long enough." Sherlock's gaze traveled down to John's torso where the doctors had stitched him up. "Does it hurt?"

"What?" John followed Sherlock's gaze. "Oh. A little."

Sherlock sighed. "I'm sorry, John. I should have told you." John noticed the gauze wrapped around Sherlock's forehead. He must've hit it or something.

"You were trying to lure them out." John said.

Sherlock nodded slightly. He was always doing things like this so John just sighed.

"It's alright."

Sherlock brightened slightly. "Does your left eye hurt?"

"Excuse me?" John asked.

"I was just wondering since you've been looking right all day."

John rolled his eyes.

* * *

**_Drama! I'm not really sorry, I kinda had to happen. If they'd finished the date the Sherlock would have to stop, I didn't want it to be over yet since I haven't gotten to the best part. _**

**_Alright. So the villain's name is Sherman and he was originally going to be British until I realised that mostly Americans use the term 'fag' as another definition of homosexual. So I kinda shrugged and went with him being American, like myself._**

**_After John passed out the second time Lestrade and his crew show up and arrest Sherman and Brady, his little henchman. Sherlock contacted Lestrade when he woke up, fishing his phone from his pocket and sending Greg a text._**

**_Greg couldn't understand it so recognised it as a distress text and tracked his number. Blah blah blah, yeah. Please don't hate me? On the bright side this is the longest chapter. ~Cat._**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Hey, hey little fictioners. It is I, once more. I have a few announcements before we continue.**_

_**1) I am so sorry **__**(not really)**__** for leaving you at a cliff hanger.**_

_**2) I'm going to be changing my name from The Krystal Cat to Chaos Cas. Which is the same name I plan on using when I finally make my youtube account. For my youtube I'm going to do AudioFics, skits, let's plays, and things like that. Meaning you'll get to find out what I look like and what I sound like. YAY! I think.**_

_**3) I plan on finishing up this fic soon, I'm planning maybe one or two more chapters.**_

* * *

John healed nicely, only a faint scar on his chest making it obvious what had happened. The faint upside down T that stretched farther under his left pec with a K near his left nipple and an upside down star just above his right. It's something Sherlock had noticed, John seemed to be shirtless more often than not. Almost as if he was trying to remind himself of something.

To John the scar _was _a reminder. It was a reminder that he had survived, a reminder that he could have died. A reminder that he was strong.

He still had nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat with visions of blood and a silver blade dancing in his vision. Sherlock knew about the nightmares, he'd caught glimpses of John cradling a cup of hot tea and looking dazedly out of the flat windows. He had tried to stay out of John's way as much as possible, leaving a room when John came in or making excuses to stay out of the flat. Little did he know that it was only tearing John up even more. Which is why John had cornered Sherlock as the darker haired man was leaving the bathroom.

"John." Sherlock stated, shifting his weight minutely.

"Why are you avoiding me?" John asked, voice sounding more harsh than he had intended.

"I'm not avoiding you," Sherlock denied stubbornly.

"Really?" John quirked an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Sherlock's eyes dipped down to the scar and he winced slightly, the most emotion John had ever seen on the enigmatic sociopath. "John, I-"

"Don't say you're sorry," John sighed, defeated. "Please."

Sherlock fell silent, averting his eyes. A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. "Your scars are beautiful, John."

John's lips quirked in a half smile. "Back to yourself are you? Come on, I found a case."

* * *

_**Wooh! Okay, I've got a lot of pickup lines planned for the next chapter. A lot. I'm wanting to use all of the clean ones that I haven't used yet that you guys have submitted. I'm going to be updating my profile now and changing my pin/pen. -Cas.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Hey Minions! It's me, Cas. I have a few more announcements that I didn't make in the last chapter. So here goes.**_

_**1) A friend asked me out and I turned him down because I'm aromantic. Now he's sulking in his room (he lives in my basement) and it's causing me to hate myself and have really bad bouts of depression followed by anger and then the ultimate thought that there's no point to life. I didn't sleep much last night and I only fell asleep because I had exhausted myself with panic attacks and anxiety attacks and crying and internally screaming. I'm going to say I'm not in a good position right now but I will finish this fanfiction. And don't worry, I wont do anything brash. **_

_**2) My reason for such a long break between my last update and the one before it is the fact that I had been in the hospital again. I'm fine, don't worry. I had an ablation done to attempt to fix my heart condition. (SVTs for those of you who like knowing what's going on and what's happening. Google has some good articles on it.)**_

_**3) Another reason was as soon as November hit I was stubbornly refusing to do anything Christmas related because I wasn't ready to let go of Halloween. I literally spent the whole month listening to my Halloween playlist. I shit you not.**_

_**4) All hail the Glow Cloud.**_

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After the incident in the bathroom doorway Sherlock had slowly stopped avoiding John. It had taken a few moths but he wouldn't shift awkwardly in his seat when they were in the same room and he'd started up with his pickup lines again.

"You must have 11 protons because you are sodium cute."

"I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

"On a scale of one to ten you're a nine and I'm the one you need."

"Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine?"

John kept track of how many actually caused his heart to do a little fluttery number.

So far fourteen out of twenty had succeeded, the others only bringing a laugh to his lips.

Sherlock counted that as a win.

They'd gone out for coffee a couple of times and John found that he was actually falling for the taller sociopath.

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_**I'm sorry this chapter sucks. I had an anxiety attack halfway through and then my mind went blank and I just... I'm sorry. -Cas.**_


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